Zenitude #20: Cut It, Love It, Risk It -- Don't Be A Wuss

I’m a hair color risk taker. And not afraid of scissors. From short, short spikey platinum blonde, strawberry red, auburn red, to long platinum blonde and black as midnight hair. In the blink of an eye, I’ve had my stylist (of the past 9 years) cut off 10” of hair and not looked back. And, I’ve never had “hair remorse”….until…until…

...eight weeks ago when we had a major “bangs” situation. Think Edward Scissorhands meets a 3-year old with scissors. That’s right. I had become Hair Ninja Girl. With bloodshot “wine from the night before” eyes, breathing like Darth Vader, mad as hell Hair Ninja Girl marched with a mission into the kitchen. As a murderous hair vengeance took over, the Hair Ninja tore open the drawer and there they were -- the dull, lackluster kitchen scissors. “Yes, these will do. These will do just fine.” And you know the exact scissors I speak of, don’t you? The 10-year old kitchen scissors that have cut everything from chicken fat to plastic to meat and everything in between. As the hair demon lead them down the hallway, they plead for their kitchen life, but to no avail, “No, no, no….not the bathroom, you mustn’t.” “Shut up. We will do this.” And, then we arrive. In the bathroom. And the hair massacre went down. It wasn’t pretty.

The result? Every mom’s worst nightmare. The 3-year old hair chop. “Look mommy, I cut my hair!” Yes, it really and truly was that bad (and I’m 47!!!). The irregular hair growth at the top of my head is still trying to find normalcy and is valiantly trying to catch up with all of the other hair.

If it had just behaved…if it had not been dry, stupid hair. Maybe the massacre wouldn’t have happened. Next time will be worse. Without a doubt. I am obviously not licensed for scissors but also have no aversion to looking like Alfalfa, so there will be a next time.

Zenitude for today:

Life’s too short to have hair that misbehaves. Cut it and love it. Don't be a wuss.

(P.S. My hair stylist has forgiven me.)